Where to start ay? Currently you are jumbled and I have no idea how we’ve made it to 23 years. You’ve gotten me through everything in life; parents splitting up, school, boys, a-levels, uni, bullying, work and everything else in between.
Lets start from the beginning. When my parents split up, I think it affected you the worst and I still don’t think you are fully over it – will you ever be? No one can tell a 5-year old girl how to act or be during time like this but you got through it, you got me through it. I think the breakup subliminally affected you for a long time, constantly seeing happy ‘families’ when all yours would do is argue and I only fully began to understand that when I hit secondary school. it was always harder, having to choose between seeing my dad or friends at weekends but you got through it.
You cheered me up during heartbreak, and told me the right thing to find love (download tinder Liz, it will be fun). Every day we’re faced with adult life challenges and your thoughts are there to guide me on this path I am on. If it wasn’t for you choosing where I went to uni, I would not be where I am today. I wouldn’t have the life I live, my boyfriend or our gorgeous flat. It’s like you knew when I was 18 what was in the future and boy, if you told me then I would laughed in your face.
There was a period where I hated you. You caused me sleepless nights, anxious feelings and to try to be someone I was not. But we’re over that. We’re older, wiser and have come out at the other end stronger. Looking back, I now realise that you were influenced by what someone was saying about me and to this day, the thoughts you have still linger and come back to bite me when I least expect it.
Without the intelligence and knowledge that you store I would not be on my master’s degree now, wanting to pursue a PhD. It’s you that shocks most people – how clever, how passionate, how informative you are and when people ask me things, its like opening up my own google search.
I couldn’t get through life without you and although your influenced thoughts still taunt me today, you’re doing alright. I thank you for being my friend to talk too on lonely days, my angel and my devil but mostly, I thank you for being you.